Thanksgiving …Christmas …New Years …out with 2010 and in with the goals, hopes and dreams of 2011.
With the exception of a couple of quick hops to Victoria …I have been cloistered up here in Roche Harbor Washington a.k.a. “The Rock” for about a week now. As much as I often times lecture other people on their need to turn on their brains, and allow some fresh air to blow through their ears, I find myself strangely refreshed from taking my own advice.
From the time that I was about 11 years old, I began keeping a journal to record my personal thoughts, hopes, and dreams… my victories and defeats… my highest highs and lowest lows… extreme happiness and indescribable pain. Every major event in my life chronicled so that the message, and the lesson from these events would be remembered and not forgotten.
I have spent these last few days sitting down and reading through all 14 volumes of my journals to remind myself of who I was, where I came from, and the events that have formed what I stand for and what I believe in. I laughed at some of the things I used to think were so important, I cried again over heartaches and missed opportunities. I reflected on some of the milestones and memories I have collected: my first kiss …my first love…. becoming a woman with reproductive abilities… losing my virginity… graduating from college, and graduate school, the places I’ve been, the things I’ve seen, people I’ve known who have loved me and who have patiently and unselfishly invested their time and efforts to make me who I am. These people and experiences collectively make up my history, have sharpened my intellect and shaped my character.
On the cover of each year’s journal I have tried to define the year and the lessons and experiences it brought. I have had the “Year of Loss and Despair”, “The Year of Smelly Bodies and Overcooked Food” etc. This year my definitive statement for 2010 is going to be “2010: The Year of Personal Growth”.
In the hurry up world we live in, it’s so easy to take our eyes off the ball and lose track of our personal values, and ideals that sometimes it’s necessary for God; in his love for us, to get our attention by allowing us to experience pain(both physical and mental). I know and love God… and God knows and loves me… we talk every single day. I have always considered myself to be his “fille aux yeux de biche”…his little “zychik”. Like everyone else of faith I have found myself in so many situations and circumstances where I have questioned, and wondered what it was he wanted me to do and why different things have happened.
I’m not going to go into detail about the lessons I’ve learned, or the personal growth I have experienced this year because those lessons are private and belong to me. Those of you who know me, know what they are… and have seen evidence of that growth in my writing, general demeanor, and carriage.
The purpose of this entry is to encourage everyone to take the time, and expend the energy to take an objective look at themselves, to learn and grow, and in the process hopefully become a better person in God’s eyes. Our time here is short, wouldn’t it be a huge waste if we didn’t take advantage of it to evolve into better people? …. Happy New Year!