Obituary for Common Sense….

Obituary for Common Sense

reposted from Jim Needham …author unknown.  on Wednesday, December 21, 2011 at 10:03pm
 
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common  Sense , who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure  how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red  tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: 

 – Knowing when to come in out of the rain; 

– Why the early bird gets the worm; 

– Life isn’t always fair; 

– And maybe it was my fault. 

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge) His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after  lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. 

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. 

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. 

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. 

Common Sense finally gave up  the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a  huge settlement. 

Common Sense was preceded in death,

 -by his parents, Truth and Trust,

 -by his wife, Discretion,

 -by his daughter, Responsibility,

 -and by his son, Reason

He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers; 

– I Know My Rights 

– I Want It Now 

– Someone Else Is To Blame 

– I’m A Victim

– Pay me for Doing Nothing 

 Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

EDITOR’S NOTE: My earlier statement crediting this article’s authorship to Jim Needham was my mistake. Thanks CEJ

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2 comments
  1. Jill said:

    Oh yes. The Gods of the Copybook headings. Different century, same lament. Seems to get worse every century though. The net result is always misery and death. For the Gods of the Copybook Headings, in terror and slaughter return.

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